Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Day 2

So yesterday was Day 2 of D and I working out together and losing weight together.  We walked down to Shell and back.  Took us almost 2 hours, it's that far away.  It's about 3 miles there and then we took a different way home and that was probably closer to 4 miles home.  So about 7 total miles round trip.  I was, obviously, very sore when we got home, we went to the store to get food, and came home and I felt so sick it was rediculas.  I thought it was just because I'd overdone it, but when I was laying on my bed trying to get myself together I started feeling really sick, ended up throwing up, took my temperature at my mother's insistance and oh joy running over 100 degrees.

So needless to say D won't let me do any exercising today because I am still running a fever.  Oh well there's always tomorrow...

Until next time.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Day 1

Ok, so day 1 was...well...a little bit of a flop.  Not for lack of trying but because of what day it is.  Today is D's birthday, so needless to say the day was filled with some exercise (more on my part than his), but also some uber good food (and fattening!).  Regardless I got many of the things accomplished that I wanted to today, in the weight loss department...

I woke up at 5:45 and went for a walk about 6:15am.  Yes, that early.  >.>  We walked around the block once.  Just once.  Basically trying to get ourselves used to getting up and exercising that early, seeing how much D's knee can take (it was hurt in the war), and such.  I had a sensible breakfast of oatmeal.  Next he went back to bed (Jerk!  Think it was his birthday or something!) while I went outside and mowed the little lawn my mom has, picked up stuff to put it into the garbage to go out today, shredded some papers, and then got in the pool for about 2 hours.

This evening we went to a mexican restraunt to eat, had some damn good food and came home and go back in the pool for about 2 hours again.  I'm tired.

Tomorrow we're going to the store, D and I, to get food for the house.  So our "good" eating starts tomorrow.  Joy right?  :)

And tomorrow is work out day number 2, involving non-cardio work outs or so D says.  O.o

Off to bed, early to rise tomorrow!

Until next time.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

So I'm still technically on vacation.  We leave to go back to Arizona I guess since it's after midnight here.  It's been busy to say the least.  I've had some really good times, a particularly shitty time and some ok times.  I've also made two rather life altering decisions, so bare with me while I spell this all out for all of you :)

First the good times.  My friend Cathy who I've known for 8 years now has come to hang with us oh...3 or 4 of the days we've been here with her baby Charli and her boyfriend (might as well be husband) John.  Her four year old Charli is such a cutie, love her to death.  She came over Monday evening and basically shot the shit with us, then again on Tuesday, then again on Wednesday and we went to the water park nearby on Thursday which by the way was another awesome time.  No kids, just 4 adults running around a water park having a BLAST.  Loved it!  We swam, we got drunk, we had a good time wherever we were for the most part.  I had some pizza and Candlelight Chicken and mmm food....

On the flip side I have had a particularly shitty moment while here.  My mom is ill, I've known it now for a while but didn't realize really how ill until we moved.   My mom is pretty good at hiding things as I found out Tuesday night.  Without going into detail, let's just say it can be fatal and leave it at that.  Regardless, that's not the shitty part.  The shitty part was that my friend Cathy (who is a huge family friend if you haven't figured it out and sees my mom as if she was her own more than her own mom if you catch my drift), and John and me and Don were all out playing fooseball however you spell it in the garage where we could drink and be loud without bothering people who were going to be sleeping soon.  My friend Cathy went inside to get something...oh, the Skipbo cards so we could all play cards and somehow probably corrupt it into some sort of drinking game knowing her.  Anyway, suddenly she comes FLYING out into the garage to tell me that my mom is on the floor.  I was like woah wtf!  Her kid went flying (thankfully the menfolk caught her) when I moved her evidently to stand up (I don't remember but they say she was airborn for a second or two).  We rushed into the kitchen where my mother was indeed on the floor, face down passed out.  That's not like my mom at all.  Scary thing was, we couldn't find a pulse and she wasn't breathing.  I had to call 911, move her to her back and only right before the paramedics got there did she start breathing...mostly when we turned her over.  They wanted me to do CPR but she started breathing before I had to get that far.  Anyway, point being, she was in the hospital much of that night, and it shot our original plans to go to the Water Park right outta the water and for good reason.  I'm trained as a medical professional but let me tell you I was still scared shitless, especially when I heard the words "She's not breathing and there's no pulse!"  So yeah, I must say that was a shitty thing to happen, but I'm glad I was here when it happened I must say.  I can't imagine being in AZ and her here and the complete helpless feeling I would've had.  Yes I felt helpless but at least I was THERE you know? 

Anyway, so good times, obviously one bad time.  But onward to my life changing decisions.

D and I have been dating for just over 2 years.  I've stood by him through thick and thin.  I've handled his PTSD, his ranting, and so forth.  He handles my craziness at times, my panic I have now and again and loves me regardless of my size.  We announced to my family this past week our desire to get married.  Well, he officially asked my mom permission (since my dad is no longer with us), and my aunt (who he knows is important to me) and then I got trounced on to set a date or something.  No ring yet, but that takes money and considered we're both unemployed our first step is to get employed and a place and then start with all the wedding stuff. 

Which brings me to my second life changing decision.  I have been trying to lose weight, and D wants to lose weight as well.  I told him I didn't want to be a fat woman in a wedding dress, and basically broke down and just bawled (it was Wednesday mind you I was already a bit emotional) when we were talking about what sort of wedding we want (OUTSIDE!! lol) and such.  So since he's wanting to lose and I really not only want to but need to for health reasons we decided to not only go into it together but to do it the only way he knows how...military style.  And I agreed.

Wait wait, before you go OMG DONT DO IT YOURE GOING TO REGRET IT !!!! 111 !!!....

He's got health issues as well as I do.  His knee doesn't allow him huge amounts of exercise, so we have to start slow and build up.  But he's going to get me going every morning except weekends, we're going to do our eating together and so forth.  But he's not going to take no for an answer and this is something I think I will not only benefit from but need as well.

Until next time :) 

Thursday, July 15, 2010


A quick note before I jet for 10 days.  We're leaving to go to Illinois, I'm going to visit family, enjoy some friends from back east before I moved west, and go to a family wedding.  My newest low is 265.  I'm hoping to cut that down even farther by the time I come back. 

It's been a crazy week.  I've cleaned, I've put up a pool, I've swam in said pool today and got sunburned for it (stupid sun!), I've gone through part of a garage putting things away, getting rid of papers we don't need, and so on.  I've been so busy!  If you had told me when I lived in Los Alamos I'd be this active I would've laughed at you and said get real!  Scary thing is, when my mom gets back from IL (she comes back the day after we do), I'll be even MORE active.  I'm trying to get my mom to stay outta bed all damn day and go out and do.  She's got some depression going on, losing my dad, losing her father 2 years later, being away from family, not having me around (until now), losing her job, it's taken its toll.  So now that I'm out here I plan on being active, doing things outside even in the dead of heat.  I've found 20 minutes outside doing something even in the heat is ok, so long as I do it in moderation, or take a dunk in the pool after :)

Anyway, so as the title says, this blog shall be quiet until I get back.  So until I get back, have a good one :)

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Another official weigh in come and gone...

You know, when you're unemployed, all your days run together.  It's like being on summer vacation as a kid.  You wake up in the morning and have no real idea what day it is.  You get up at whatever time you want, and go to bed at whatever time you want and do whatever you want for the most part in between.  My days typically lately have involved getting up at around 8 or 9am, eating breakfast as soon as my feet hit the floor, then putzing around outside until about 10 when it gets just way too hot to be doing any work out there.  I've been trying to get my mom's back yard to be a paradise instead of just a back yard.  And by doing all this work in the back yard, I've lost weight.  We'd hired a guy to get rid of all the weeds and stuff in the front yard and mow the law and what not, trim the bushes, you get the idea, back in like the middle/end of June.  He was supposed to come back in 2 weeks to mow the lawn again etc.  Well needless to say, he never showed up, my cousin called me for my number to give to him because he said he lost it, but he still hasn't called.  So I took it upon myself to mow the little lawn (it's pathetically small really, took about 30 minutes tops), trim the edge, rake a little bit of weeds out of the way, and of course we're putting that pool up.  No, it's still not up, it's just been so damn hot out there.  We're at the leveling the ground part now though.  Holes are all filled, we're just trying to get the ground to where it'll be level, which requires bags of sand, which I can't really lift myself, and even if I could get the sand into a wheel barrel, and shovel it out of there my leveling skills leave something to be desired.  And while I may be willing to go out there in the dead heat of 110 degrees and work until a bag of sand is laid, take a break in the AC for 20 or 30 minutes rinse and repeat, D is not.  So since I can't do it myself (unlike like the rocks, and the filling of the holes, and so on and so forth that I have done completely on my own), and I have to rely on him helping I'm at a stand still.  Needless to say it's frustrated the fuck out of me.  I was hoping to get the pool up, filled, treated and swim in it for like a week before the kids got home.  I'll be lucky if it's up filled and treated before we leave at this rate  /sigh. 

Anyway, the point of my rambling is that I have been basically forgetting to weigh in.  When I first started all this up again the beginning of June I was like...weighing myself daily.  Then when I started that fail job that I quit 2 weeks later, I didn't weigh myself at all, and while I maintained I didn't lose.  So I've been kind of seeing a pattern.  When I weigh in every day I get frustrated and don't understand why if I'm working out and eating right my weight will go up one day and down the next and up the next and down the next after that!  But when I don't weigh in at all I end up gaining little by little because I don't feel like I have the scale to have to report to, so I never see the result of my good or bad eating habits.  If I weigh in weekly I seem to do better but then I obsess over "Has it been a week yet?!" because I want to see where I'm at.

So I've come to a conclusion.  I will weigh when I feel like it.  I had my official weigh ins on Fridays because that was when I started in June.  But today is Saturday and yesterday I didn't weigh in and today I did.  So today's my official day....for this week :P  And today's weight is 266.2  Couldn't be happier.  :) 

And now, if you'll excuse me, I have some lights to hang around the back yard and some sand to see if I can struggle to put down in the pool area.  My only concern is what am I going to do for exercise once this is all finished?  lol.

Until next time.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Hey Hey!

You know, it's amazing.  I manage to make it through the Fourth without any major eating problems.  In fact, I didn't even realize it WAS the fourth until my boyfriend's dad called for something else and was like, oh by the way happy 4th!  I was like, oh, right, you too!  lol.  Know what I had for dinner on the 4th?  Cottage Cheese (1/2 cup), steamed broccoli, and half a burger (lettuce, tomato, and cheese!).  yep, that's it.  Half.  Why half?  I forced myself to eat the good for me stuff first, and thus....I wasn't hungry for more than half. Rather than force myself to eat it.  I threw it away.  Yes, that's right, me!  Throwing away food!  What's gotten into me?! 

I was always taught you clean your plate.  Not saying my parents weren't the best parents ever (they really were, and my mom still is!), or that it's all their fault that I'm fat cuz let's face it, no one's forced me to gain even more weight as an adult...

But those teachings stick with you.  I go to a restraunt, I feel like I have to eat all my food or someone will think I'm ungrateful.  Or that their food sucked.  Or whatever.  I see there's leftovers from dinner and I feel like I need to eat them or they'll go to waste in the fridge.  I go to an all you can eat buffet and I feel like if I don't eat a second plate full of food, I'm not getting my money's worth.  These are all excuses I've made up over the years to convince myself the continued over eating was no big deal.

I've met a woman, she's about my mom's age, at the job I had for a whole 2 weeks (long story as to why I said had not have)...she's Hungarian.  Funniest woman I've ever met.  Anyway, she's bigger, like I am.  We were talking one day about the cultural differences between Hungarian/European women and Americans.  I told her I was raised to clean my plate, she told me they were raised to leave a bite of each food type to remember those who go without.  Wow.  What a concept.  Leaving food?  It got me thinking....why can't I leave food behind?  What makes me thing I HAVE to eat everything put in front of me?  regardless if I like it or not?

So I've started it.  I left a bite of broccoli.  A bite of cottage cheese and of course, half of my burger.  It's been one month now.  Almost to the day.  I didn't realize it until today that it had been a month, so I hopped on the scale this morning just to see where I was, how much I accomplished in one month.  This month I lost 9.8 pounds.  This morning I weighed in at 267.2 pounds.  That's an average of just over 2 pounds a week.  Considering they say 1 to 2 pounds a week is what to shoot for, I'm not complaining.  Considering I worked out a lot in the beginning of the month and then didn't really do a whole lot of "official" working out until this pool thing, I'm not complaining.  I'm glad I lost the weight.  It puts me down to within 7 pounds of where I was before I stopped last year.  That means in another month I could be back down to the almost 250 mark where I was last year when I stopped because I couldn't seem to get over that hurdle.

You know what the change is for me?  My mom.  My mom is losing weight.  My mom is trying hard to be more active, and I am living near her now.  My mom is not extremely over weight, in fact I'd say she could probably lose about 20-30 pounds and be good.  But my mom wants to do things with me that I honestly can't do right now. 

I can't ride a horse.
I can't go for a long hike somewhere.
I can't go for walks as fast as she can.
I can't fit into her clothes like I could as a kid.
I can't go shopping somewhere unless it has a "big" section.

I'm tired of I can'ts.  I want some I cans.  I want to be able to ride a horse, go shopping with mom in some thrift store that's never heard of anything bigger than a large.  I want to be able to go walking with her and my aunt and not feel like I'm bogging the whole walk down because I have to waddle to keep up.  I want to be able to go for a long hike around some mountains.  I want to be normal.  I never have been, not for as long as I can remember, and the only way I can do all that stuff is to lose weight.  So I have made my commitment.  Now that I can talk the talk, it's time to continue to walk the walk.  Wish me luck.

Until next time.

Monday, July 5, 2010


No, not with weight loss, but the rocks!  IF I HAVE TO MOVE ROCKS AGAIN IT'LL BE ALL TOO SOON!  lol.  I'm officially in the 260's.  I've maintained under 270 for 3 days straight and still losing because of all the rock moving.  I'm at 269.2 this morning.  I was at 269.8 for a couple days and then today it dropped again.

So I'm sore, tired, and it's only 9:30 and I'm ready for bed.  rofl.

Until next time!

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Is it possible?

Man.  I'm sore.  Not just sore, I'm SORE.  We're about halfway done with the gravel.  Sure, I cleared a lot yesterday, but today was really finishing the area I'd partially cleared the night before to move away gravel that I couldn't pick up with a shovel alone.

I saw a peek at the scale this morning, only barely cuz I had a hard time looking over my flab to see the scale cuz of how sore I was and it said 269.   horray!  Now to not have it go back up dammit would be nice lol.

So lots of more work out there done today.  We pulled apart the trampoline that's blocking the other half of the area we have to clear in order to be able to clear that area of gravel.  Got the pool and got it to our place, it's in the garage.  But it got extremly hot really quickly today.  Yes, I realize, summer, Phoenix area, hot!  But it was too hot to work out there, at least for me, by like 8:30am.  lol.  I'm a pansy ass.  Oh well, D's going to finish up the gravel tomorrow, or so he says :P  He wants me to do nothing but provide moral support.  I'm sure he can see how badly I'm hobbling around, I spent more time in bed today watching tv than I think I have in almost 6 months.  Last time I watched this much tv I was laid up with a sciatic nerve episode.  >.>

So I'm off to bed.  Sleep's been sporadic.  Yesterday after I worked on the yard for a while I thought I'd go to bed because I was really tired, but as soon as I laid down I couldn't really sleep, was too tired, or too sore or too something and couldn't sleep.  I didn't fall asleep until about 2am and got back up at 4.  Oh joy.  I took a short nap this morning but that's about it, so I'm going to go to bed now.  :)

Until next time! 

Friday, July 2, 2010

Does this count?

Does clearing gravel (think old school yard type gravel) from a 25 by 25 foot area in 90+ degree heat count as heavy exercise?  rofl.  This pool better be worth it.  >.<

I've been clearing gravel all day, I got up at 7am, worked on it for about 3 hours, did some running around, went back out about 6pm and started back up again and it's now 8pm and I'm taking a much needed break.  Summer reminds you of just how shitty being fat really is let me tell you.  Hopefully this pool will help me change that.  Mom's been wanting one for a while so we offered to get it set up before she gets home.  I plan on using it to lose weight, the kids, of course, to play in and mom to lounge in.  To each their own right?  :)

But I just wonder, is it heavy exercise, moderate?  lol.  I want to be accurate in my fit day you see...

Until next time, provided I don't fall over from exaustion....