Silence

I know, I've been quiet lately. Unsure what to post really, not much going on. Work's kept me busy, so busy in fact that Monday I got off at around 6, and Tuesday I got off at 10 to 7, which sucks considering I already normally work 10 hours, so tack on an extra hour or two and bleh!

Food wise I've been fine. I've tried salad the last two days and...mmm...doubtful. I need to find a night to sit down and cut up tomatoes and get some black olives and stuff to put in it. The lettuce, carrots and red cabbage is all fine and well but it's so bland and rabbit foodish. I also don't particularly care for light ranch dressing, but they didn't have any fat free or light western dressing, in fact, walmart in Espanola doesn't even CARRY western dressing....jerks. I have some regular dressing at home but it's like 15g of fat for 2 tsp or something rediculasly high like that. Not worth it... /sigh I dunno.

But anyway, so food has been fine, water intake could probably be better, I'm just barely getting in my 4 bottles of water per day on weekdays, especially this week since we've been going so late at night. I really should talk to Dr. M and see if I can keep a bottle of water up front as long as I promise to keep the cap on (which I always do anyway). He doesn't like water up front because of the computer equipment, and I can understand, but....I NEED WATER! >.>

Exercise could be much better, I constantly struggle with this aspect of weight loss. As I posted at the beginning of my blog, I am afraid of exercise. Before you laugh, read my very first post and you'll see why. Don't get me wrong, when I do exercise, I feel good after and all but it's the starting that scares me. In fact, at one point I was so scared of my asthma when I started exercising that I bought an alert necklace to wear to say I was asthmatic. My trainer said she's going to tackle exercise on Sunday with me...ehh...

I know baby steps blah blah blah. Baby steps feels too small. If I'm going to lose weight I need to push myself. I'm physically fit enough to go for longer than 10 minute walks but too scared mentally due to my childhood to walk fast enough to get my heart rate up. Nothing to do with my heart, but everything to do with my asthma. Hearth rate up = heavier breathing which could = asthma attack = scared Amber. At least that's what the brain says anyway.

Well, I'll have to figure something out. Right now work and school take up most of my weekday time. I'm also large enough that I feel downright silly working out on the wiifit in front of D. I tend to exercise when he's not around...kind of like hiding it or something, why I don't know. He's extremly extremly supportive in my decision to lose weight, and commented a couple of days ago he could tell that I had lost a little, but I've been ridiculed in the past by boyfriends and told I'd never lose it so why bother etc etc, so I guess I just don't want to think he's just saying it to be nice sort of thing, despite knowing he's genuine about it. lol.

I'm so screwy eh?

Oh well, I better get some work done on my homework if I plan on doing anything after work tonight remotely fun.

Toodaloo

Amber