A revelation if you will.

So I was going to bed last night, about 11 or so in the evening. A little later than I like but not the end of the world. I'd just crawled into bed and covered up, staring at the cealing when I had a revelation. A lightbulb turning on if you will. We bitch, complain, moan and groan about how long it will take to lose 150 pounds, 100 pounds, 10 pounds, whatever. We act like it's the end of the world if our loss is less than 1 solid pound. We think (myself included sometimes) that losing 150 pounds is an insurmountable obstical. OHEMGEE 2 YEARS IS A LONG TIME MKAY?!

But this was my revelation:

If I'd started working hard to lose weight 2 years ago when I moved to Los Alamos, I may be done, or close to done now. I moved to Los Alamos, taking a huge risk on someone I only knew through a video game, a few phone calls and a face to face meeting in May of 2008. Here it is, May 2010! What?! D and I have been together for 2 years now?! WUT HIS DAUGHTER IS 4?! WHERE DOES TIME GO!

Anyway, despite my sarcasm and general laughable twisted-ness, my point is that when you're doing weight loss, the "2 years until I'm normal" thought makes it feel like it's such a long time. But in reality, 2 years goes by pretty damn quick. I guess what made me go "Duh!" is I was reading some article on some woman that lost like 120 pounds in 15 months. One day she decided "I'm done being fat!" and just did it. So the question was, to me, why can't I do that? And my realization was, I CAN do that. I just need to take the time to do it, and stop making up excuses as to why I'm NOT doing it.

If we force ourselves to eat things we "don't like" we expand our taste bud pallet. I've done that this past year. I went from "Eww brocolli" to "Mmmm raw brocolli with a little light ranch please!" Though I'm still "eww salad" I think it's not because I don't really like salad, though, it's not an all time favorite lunch....it's more because I can't eat anything cold that requires chewing at the moment (stupid teeth!). And before you ask, yes, I work at a dentist, and yes he's doing testing but we're not sure why, out of the blue, one side that has no problems at all suddenly got very sensitive to cold. The other side is because I got a crown done, and it's getting better but it's taking a little time to get used to eating on that side. But I digress. I am still, and probably always will be, "Eww Fish" lol. Some things never change.

Regardless, I have been expanding what kinds of food I eat. A year ago you wouldn't catch me dead with a plate of fresh veggies or steamed veggies with a small amount of warmed, well seasoned chicken on my plate for lunch. No, I'd be eating some sort of hotdog or something else equally rediculas. Additionally, you probably wouldn't catch me dead with a container of small curd cottage cheese or yogurt, or something else equally "healthy" in my fridge. You'd see me scarfing down 4 pieces of pizza, or half a fried chicken or something equally unhealthy on a daily basis. Instead, I have a bit of an "amazing" (from my perspective) story for you, that I shall leave you with.

Recently, D found his new love in frozen pizzas. The Garlic Bread Pizza. So much so in fact that he'll get one at least once a week to eat, either for lunch or dinner, whichever. Which is fine with me, I like garlic bread pizza. However, this week, yesterday in fact, we had said garlic bread pizza for dinner. D got home late from the wee one visit, and was hungry so he'd stopped at the store and gotten one to bring home, threw it in and it smelled so good. He even got surpreme because he knew I more than likely hadn't ate yet, and I'm not a huge fan of pepperoni only pizza. Enough babbling right, get to the point already! lol. Anyway, pizza got done, I was pretty hungry but shockingly enough...I only had 2 squares. If you made these squares I cut for myself into a normal "pizza slice" it'd be pretty thin. They weren't very big, maybe a 3inch by 3 inch square. And to be honest, a good chunk of the squares I had were "crust" rather than "toppings". But I stopped at those 2 pieces. No more. I had nothing else to eat. I was famished while it was cooking but I ate those two pieces pretty slow, not because I wanted to, but because I was doing something else on my computer while eating, and basically forgot I was eating between bites for a few minutes.

Which brings me to my new goal. And I think I'm going to make a little widget to write all these down....but my new goal is to eat slower. Instead of SCARFING AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE I want to put my fork down between bites and completely chew each bite. We'll see if that helps eh? :)

So, until my next post! Toodles!